


nobody told me it ended

by samberto



Category: New X-Men: Academy X, Young Avengers (Comics)
Genre: Gen, Late Night Chats, M/M, Quest For Magik (New X-Men) Aftermath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-08 22:16:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18903736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samberto/pseuds/samberto
Summary: “He knows, master,” one of the grunts snarls, which really doesn’t help David’s case. David knows he’s lucky -- for an X-Man. He avoided the Stryker bus attack, been a pallbearer for only one of his best friends, and his luck is running out. (He’s had this dream so many times. He knows how it ends. And every time, he can’t stop it.)





	nobody told me it ended

**Author's Note:**

> title from mitski's "a pearl"

 

_“Where is Illyana Rasputin?” The voice is deep enough for David to feel himself shake against his chains._

_“Illyana...Rasputin?” David replies, his voice weak. Cessily and Sooraya are chained on either side of him, he can hear Laura’s voice but it’s so far away. He has to be strong. If no other reason than for Cessily._

_“He knows, master,” one of the grunts snarls, which really doesn’t help David’s case. David knows he’s lucky -- for an X-Man. He avoided the Stryker bus attack, been a pallbearer for only one of his best friends, and his luck is running out._ (He’s had this dream so many times. He knows how it ends. And every time, he can’t stop it.)

_“I’m sorry...Illyana Rasputin is dead.”_ (Even asleep, he can hear his own pleading tone, dreading what always follows)

_“You lie.” Belsaro huffs, “You lie!” Belsaro bellows again, his hand shooting through the air, treating David’s body like a cloth doll as he rips his heart out. The sensation pulls him off the chains, his body held together in Belsaro’s hand before dropping him to the ground._

 

And that’s where it always stops. David wakes up in a cold sweat, wanting to scream. It feels like the millionth time; that this same dream has been playing on loop when he falls asleep, and he’s so _tired_ of it. David knows, _really, he does_ ; he should talk to someone. About why the dream always ends there, how it doesn’t continue to Josh bringing him back.  

Despite it, he wipes the sweat off his face, erasing an obvious sign of his distress before he trudges to the kitchen, where he expects one or two of the Young Avengers to be awake (there’s always _someone_ awake, he’s learned). Billy’s sitting at the kitchen table, laptop down with a notes sheet beside him. He knows his relationship with Billy has never been...the best. There’s no Hallmark card saying _“Sorry I kissed your boyfriend when I thought the world was ending,”_ and Billy refuses to let the topic stand whenever David even attempts to apologize. The last thing he wants to do is show Billy how much the X-Men fucked him up.

He has a simple mission: get a glass of water, and make it back to his bedroom where he can call Cessily accordingly and talk to her about it, because she _understands._  And Billy won’t. And Billy won’t _care_ , either. Instead, Billy greets him with a “Hey, David” and a sympathetic smile. It’s not like Billy knows something is wrong, David tells himself, it’s just a formality, why he’s saying it. He doesn’t _care_ about David. He doesn’t need to know.

“Hey,” he replies, any facade he had been presenting to Billy faltering as his voice cracks. He swats at his eyes, if he can, he can chalk it up so being tired. That makes sense, right?

“Jeez, you alright?”

“Best as I can be,” David attempts, a hollow laugh, concern only mounting on Billy’s face.

“You want to talk about it?”

“Billy, I don’t think you want to hear about an adventure, quite literally, to hell.”

“C’mon, we’re the Young Avengers. What fucked up thing hasn’t happened to one of us?”

“Y’know, I beat Cassie to the _back-from-the-dead_  title first. Be sure that’s written down somewhere.”

“What?”

“When Magik came back. Shit was going down at the school, like usual, but fucking Belsaro thought that one of us fucking _fifteen year olds_  would know where a supposedly dead mutant was. He was, like, way too self assured though. Had us all tied up, pretty much actual fucking torture, and he,” David mimics a gesture of pulling his arm out from his chest, hoping that Billy will catch what he means. He supposes he’s in too deep, judging by Billy’s blatant confusion. “He ripped my heart out.”

“Jesus--"

“Billy, look, I _know_ we’ve had our,” he searches for the right word, “...troubles, but listen to me. Just for now. ‘Cause I’ll go crazy otherwise.”

“Yeah, dude, no problem,” Billy says, an air of shock and terror coursing through his voice.

“So, um, it was after the whole _M-Day_  debacle, and I was only at the school for moral support until my parents came and got me. And, like, I wasn’t even a team member anymore, just a novelty.” He stares at his hands, fidgeting as he gulps, aware of Billy’s sympathy that’s radiating off him like energy from the sun. “Try to keep it off applications; trying to find a mutant friendly therapist is hard as it is, let alone one for someone who couldn’t even keep their fucking powers. I should have died down there, Billy. But I didn’t, and I,” he pauses, “I _came back wrong*_  The X-Men have seen their fair share of shit. And, _f_ _uck_ , dude, I’m one of the lucky ones. For all the coming back from the dead they pull, the students are just… _replaceable_ to them. They don’t come back. But _I_ did. That fucking school gave me nightmares that outlasted any mutant ability I was so _b_ _lessed_ with. They fucked me up and let me go. Josh made me a beating heart, sure, but it’s not the same.”

 

There’s an underlying tension at breakfast the next morning. Nothing too noticeable; David smiles, ducks his head away as Tommy tries to take his glasses like usual. But he can tell, by Billy’s relative silence, face determinedly staring at his cereal bowl, that there’s a thin string connecting them now. It’s beyond his control, and he’s sure one day it will snap, that Billy may find himself in a place where something more than an unsaid acknowledgement of David’s...breakdown has to happen. Until then, he tells himself, it’s just another day.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to kiki, maxie, and nana for beta reading and hyping me up. also fuck you marvel you fucked up so many of these kids and then just left them to rot.


End file.
